In this day and age, having dirty boat names might not be the most appropriate thing to do. But for those who are truly interested in giving their boat a naughty pun or sexually charged label as a name, then who are we to stop you?
In this guide, we'll walk you through our absolute favorite dirty boat names, as well as a few words of wisdom regarding the limitations and considerations to be aware of before giving your boat that dirty, naughty, raunchy name.
Our Best Suggestions
Listed below are a few of the dirtiest, most inappropriate boat names that could serve as inspiration for your boat’s future name:
A powerful classic with staying power that may perhaps outlive our current generations. The boat name “Doggy Style” is a perfect name for those who want to keep it somewhat traditional and straight to the point.
There are no particular boat types or boat sizes we see this name to be the best with, but we would definitely suggest having a dog painted on your boat, just to throw off or confuse the passers-by who take notice of your boat’s name.
2 Girls, 1 Boat
A play on the infamous 2 Girls, 1 Cup (do not look this up), we find “2 Girls, 1 Boat” to be that inside joke that a few millennials would definitely be aware of.
This boat name is fantastic not just to show off your knowledge of a decade-old horrific and disgusting sexual video, but it can also be construed as an innocent showing of how good you are with the ladies.
The “Butt Muncher” is as juvenile as it is inappropriate, but we definitely need this boat name in our list because of its simplicity. It doubles as both a playground insult and, to a certain extent, an expression of sexual preferences and fetishes in the bedroom.
We envision this boat name to work best with smaller-sized boats but would love to see big-sized “Butt Muncher” boats in the seas as well.
Moist to Wet
“Moist to Wet” refers to the boat, and not to a woman’s particulars unless that is what you are talking about. This inappropriate name will definitely raise some eyebrows, but maybe not enough that strangers would confirm their suspicions regarding the sexual intent behind the boat name.
We find this to fit almost any kind of boat, as all boats transition from dry to moist to wet at some stages in their boat lives.
If you thought “Butt Muncher” was juvenile and ridiculous, then let us take it a step further with “Jiggly Boobies,” a boat name appropriate for no occasion at all, but sounds inappropriately funny when thinking about it or even saying the boat name out loud.
We would love to see jiggly boobies on a boat for sure, but perhaps this boat name is more appropriate for yachts and other vessels where relatively small social events and gatherings are held.
Sway of the Dick
Well, we have to let it loose sometimes, right? The boat has to freely sway and get accustomed to the blow of the wind, and this is exactly what “Sway of the Dick” calls for. Just let it out and let it run free! This is the best way to make sure that your boat gets the best exposure it needs and is truly the most magnificent way to let it swing and sway all about.
This boat name is, in all honesty, something we do not imagine seeing on any boat in the foreseeable future, but if you want this to be adorned on your boat, then please be our guest.
The term “meister” is attached to another concept to denote a certain degree of know-how and expertise. Sort of like saying the person is a master of something, whether it be drinkmeister, dealmeister, schlongmeister, or in the case of this boat name, “The Clitmeister.” We will leave you to your own devices to determine why someone could ever become the master of the clit.
This boat name seems to be one of the most inappropriate names in the entire world, so we are pretty sure that if you do take this name for your boat, you will be the first in the entire world to have a boat to possess the distinction of “The Clitmeister.”
Moby Dick is a very popular boat-related story that speaks of a sperm whale that bit off a sailor’s leg in a previous voyage, so what better way to name your boat than after a perilous sea creature?
The “Dick Navigator” feels like it was a name made for medium to large-sized boats that truly travel all parts of the seas, but we can see this name fitting smaller-sized boats as well.
If you know a friend named “Al,” then this might be the best way to give him praise and honor. This naughty non-sexual boat name can come in handy when you want to make it known to the world that you can handle your wine (or vodka or whisky).
We see this boat name as a grand invitation to everyone and anyone that loves to party and spend their nights with a drink in hand as they dance the drunkenness away.
Seymour Boo Tay
I do not know about you, but this boat name is probably one of the most underrated names in this list, or in any inappropriate list on the internet ever. “Seymour Boo Tay” has a particular nuance and intelligence to it. The humor is definitely crass, but people have to respect the effort put in to at least try to make it a tad subtle.
This boat name is probably great for small-sized boats, but this can also be used for bigger boats if the name really rings true to you and your personality.
To close out our extensive list of dirty names, we have a great classic, our dear friend “Hugh Jassman!” Hugh Jassman is just one of the greatest people we know on this planet, and we wish him a very prosperous future, and if his behind (past) is any indication, then Hugh Jassman will definitely be all set.
This boat name is actually okay for any boat of any shape and size, so we leave it to your discretion to decide if this should be in your boat name shortlist or not.
More Rude & Inappropriate Dirty Boat Names
Tips and Advice for Choosing the Most Inappropriate Boat Names
While it may be all fun and games to give your boat an inappropriate, sexually charged, or otherwise somewhat poor in taste boat name, there are a few guidelines and rules that still need to be upheld. Listed below are the absolute considerations you have to take note of before finalizing your boat’s dirty, dirty name.
The world is filled with people with a dirty or inappropriate sense of humor, so there is definitely a need for this article that we have crafted for you.